Sheilas and copping a root, etiquette and respect
Blokes and copping a root, etiquette & respect.
Sex should be fun, so don’t be stupid
Safe Sex more details:
Frangas, the pull out method, the pill, the morning after pill, get checked out, sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
Sheilas and copping a root, etiquette and respect
Propositioning
As a sheila you have to know many of the blokes are there trying to cop a root and most are pretty straightforward and non threatening about it. Like in a nightclub they might start trying to dance with you. Often they get a mate to introduce them to you and vouch for them in some corny way. Or they’ll just come and have a chat, and on occasion one will just ask you outright if you want to root. When this happens, on one hand, you have to give him points for disregarding the bullshit and being refreshingly honest, but on the other hand it is just hilarious.
Be true to yourself
When a guy approaches you, you can either go with them or you don’t. You can take them on the ride of their life or move on. The only pressure, should be the pressure you put on yourself, so don’t put any on yourself. Shagging a random in a swag with the canvas shaking for all to see, or steaming up the back of a car, is not for everyone. If you don’t want to take someone up on the offer, tell them straight out, or at worst do a runner. Even if you kissed a guy, it doesn’t mean you owe them anything, a kiss is not permission to fuck. But don’t think they are scum for having a crack either, just be straightforward about it.
Even if you kissed a guy, it doesn’t mean you owe them anything, a kiss is not permission to fuck.
Not unless they are being scumbags by trying to pressure you and coerce you into sex. Coercion to have sex is as bad as rape—being guilted to have sex when you don’t want to, and being too intimidated to say no, is not ok. Even if you are being accused of being a cocktease or feel you are going against society's conditioning for women to be meek and nice, FORGET IT. If the guy suddenly changed his mind, he’d just drop you and leave. So no reason you can't do the same. You don’t owe anyone anything.
Safety
If you do find yourself in a sticky situation, know that despite the shit stirring, most BNS goers are decent people who aren’t fans of rapists. Many are country people with a sense of community that the anonymity of populous cities don’t have. Many ball goers know other ball goers who know other ball goers. And many of the country blokes still feel some chivalry to defend the weaker sex—even if it is deemed sexist now. It creates a BNS community of people who tend to look out for each other. So if you are in trouble, go up to a group of girls or guys in the ball, and tell them what is happening. At worst, tell the security. Or if you are in the camp grounds, know you can scream like a banshee for help and everyone will hear.
Saying that, I would argue women are safe at B&S’s. They can walk alone to their campsites in the dark after a ball. You are more at risk of someone calling out to you to have a chat, or a last minute half-arsed attempt to proposition a root from you, which you can laugh off or take up. It's up to you.
I can’t say it hasn’t happened, but I haven’t heard of rape at a ball. And I hope it hasn’t, but chances are it has. As much as women should have the right not to be accosted or molested, and to flirt and kiss and not have to have sex, not every bloke is a good bloke. So it still comes back to being in an imperfect world. Be wise, look out for yourselves and your sisters, don’t go back with a guy to his camp if you’re not comfortable, and try to put aside any shame you might feel to ask for help if you need it.
On the flip side, don’t deliberately be a cocktease or lead guys on, because it’s not fair on them, when they could be putting their efforts in elsewhere.
Big O vs sperm receptacle.
And if you do find a match for the night, don’t think they are going to necessarily be a farmer-wants-a-wife romance. If they are that kind of guy they will work for it, so make them prove it. If they aren’t and you are ok with it, still make them work for it because there is no point if he gets all the fun while you get the let down. Guys get off easier, but that's no reason to end up just a sperm receptacle, with no big O in sight.
Blokes and copping a root, etiquette & respect.
Propositioning
Blokes should read the sheila section too, because it is as applicable to them. But to add to it, most blokes know there is no hurt in trying to crack onto a sheila, but if she says no, looks uncomfortable, or she walks or runs away, it’s time to move on. Even if the you get a kiss, or her walking back to your swag, if she changes her mind, then it’s too bad. Just think, if you changed your mind and walked away, you wouldn’t think twice about it. But you wouldn't have the possible threat of the sheila getting frustrated and trying to physically force you into a root. You may never have the intention of doing that to any woman, but the woman will only know that if you take rejection on the chin, and not become aggressive or angry. They aren't mind readers and they've probably been in some kind of uncomfortable situation before, like some creep in a night club or on a tram etc. Thus why a show of aggression would scare them. Before you start the "not all guys" bandwagon realise what I said is already on it. So if you're are on it, you won't act like that, with respect and be aware where the sehila's reaction is coming from. And "not all girls" will react with fear either.
Beside you can always rub one out on your own, or go back to the ball and try again with someone else. If you don’t have the self control and maturity to accept that a sheila doesn’t owe you anything, then you should look into chemical castration. And don’t go to B&S's.
Do you believe sheilas are more than sperm receptacles, then prove it.
If she is up for it, then all your Christmas’s have come at once and make sure you give as good as you get. It’s a lot easier for guys to get off than girls, so don’t be lazy. Ask her if what you’re doing is working. She might be too shy to speak up, and it is so much easier for guys to get off, then for girls. She isn’t just a sperm receptacle.
Also don’t get handsy with strange ladies. If you are kissing a sheila in a reciprocated and passionate way, then getting handsy might come with the territory, but if you haven’t kissed her, and especially haven’t even spoken to her, then keep your hands to yourself. Although really, most blokes don’t need to be told this. But might see some bloke doing it, and you can step in.
If by the odd chance you are the object of the hands, then either call her out on it, or enjoy it. Depends on your reaction.
Help
If you see someone in trouble, help them out. You don’t have to guard her all night, but you can send a strong message to the aggressor by physically getting in their way and shielding her. She just might just know a friend of a friend of yours.
Sex should be fun, so don’t be stupid
Saying all this, sex should be fun, so the key is not to be stupid about it. Use the condoms they hand out when you pick up your stubby holder at the gate, bring your own as back up, and get yourself checked out regularly.
“It’s your favourite toy, why wouldn’t you look after it?”
In a nutshell, the reason that sheilas and blokes should use condoms is because:
The pill isn’t 100% effective.
Neither is the morning after pill which should not be used as contraception but just an emergency one off.
The pull out method isn’t reliable—there’s a thing called pre-cum that has sperm.
Unplanned pregnancy between strangers derails lives.
You can get STIs from oral and anal sex, not just vaginal—wherever infected blood, semen, vaginal fluid, or infected skin of the penis or around the vagina or anus comes in contact with mucous membranes of the mouth, arse and vagina or breaks in the skin around those areas—so use a franga.
Viral STIs can not be treated with antibiotics and you have them for life.
Gential herpes is a minor STI, very common (1 in 3) have it and 80% don’t even know it, it can be managed and shouldn't be stigmatised, but its spread can be reduced with condoms.
Genital warts is caused by the virus HPV, which can cause throat cancer in men, not just cervical cancer in sheilas, so get vaccinated.
Bacterial STIs are often symptomless and can cause infertility before they are detected and treated.
One of them, syphilis, can also cause dementia down the track and harm newborns.
The bacterial STI gonorrhoea already has strains that are resistant to antibiotics—this means those strains are UNTREATEABLE so wear a fanga.
And the resistance could happen to the other bacterial STIs too. The more often someone goes bareback and contracts bacterial STIs and treats them with antibiotics the more chances of resistance occurring.
Therefore, blokes and sheilas use a franga. Even if the sheila is on the pill.
And if you know you have an STI, don’t have sex until you are treated, or if you have a viral one, don’t have sex if you have open sores or warts, because you can still spread it despite the condom.
That’s safe sex in a nutshell, but here is the breakdown:
Safe Sex more details:
It is one thing to forgo the condom in a loving long term relationship between two people who don’t have STIs, and are covered by contraception, and who can trust their partner not to cheat on them and potentially bring STIs home. But when it comes to casual sex, it’s a minefield.
Frangas:
Blokes: you might think it feels better without a franga, but as a colleague at work put it, “It’s your favourite toy, why wouldn’t you look after it?”
You wouldn’t stick you cock in a crocodiles mouth would you? So putting it in any orifice that has mucous membranes—vagina, anus and mouth—can spread and catch STIs. So “Up the bum, no baby’s come” only stops babies, not STIs and most sheilas aren’t going to be keen on anal and probably not blow jobs, on a one night stand anyway.
And you can't treat everything with antibiotics. You can't treat viruses with it. And STI’s in ladies can be symptomless, and you don’t know if the sheila you met that night is really on contraception.
And no, it’s not just her responsibility to stop unwanted pregnancies. So if you don’t want a mini me, or to catch something that could give you dementia, cancer or fertility problems down the track; and you don’t want to unknowingly give the sheila something that could make her infertile or cause cancer, then sheath it.
Sheilas, you don’t know where he’s been, and if he is putting the sensation of his cock over the risk of giving you an STI or pregnancy, then he isn’t worth the shag. It’s cheaper to get a vibrator then unknowingly catching something that can make you infertile and have to resort to IVF which might not work down the track.
The pull out method isn’t reliable
There’s a thing called pre-cum, it dribbles out from the penis during sex and can have sperm in it. So even before ejaculation, bam, the sperm can be off and chasing the egg.
The pill is not 100% effective.
If the sheila forgets to take a dose, or vomits or gets diarrhoea from drinking, there is no guarantee she will have absorbed it and stop ovulating, and thus be protected from an unwanted pregnancy. And it is only 97% effective anyway, when it is taken properly.
As a bloke, how do you know the Sheila is on the pill? You have to ask her, and either way, shit happens, so you are better with the back up of using the condom.
Morning after pill
It is not a form of contraception. It is an emergency measure. It is not a healthy way to stop pregnancy with regular unprotected sex. It is a major disruption to the sheila’s hormones. It also needs to be taken in a certain time frame. The more time that passes, the less effective the morning after pill becomes. And if you are in a small country town, the pharmacy will be shut on Sunday (day after the ball), so you’ll have to wait until you reach a bigger town to buy it. And it isn’t 100% guaranteed to be effective.
In an ideal world, the morning after pill should only be used in an emergency—if the condom breaks or you have a one off occasion where the condom wasn’t used—not to be relied on routinely.
Use it if you need it, but try and avoid the needt by sheathing it.
Get checked out
There is no shame in looking after your sexual health, and getting checked out, whether you are a bloke or sheila. But there is every shame in knowingly spreading an STI. Not when it could cause someone to be infertile or damage a newborn.
If you feel too ashamed to be checked out, don’t, it’s what doctors are there for. If you have a doctor making you feel that way, remember that that is their problem, not yours. They shouldn’t be putting their personal beliefs on your medical treatment. And if they making you feel ashamed, it might be time to find a new doctor.
The only shame should be in knowingly spreading a STI. Not in unknowingly getting one and and unknowingly spreading it, or looking for treatment. If you find you have one, tell the person or people who you’ve been with, so they can get treated as well.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
STIs are spread through infected blood, semen, vaginal fluid, infected skin around the genitals coming in contact with mucous membranes (membranes of inside of the mouth, penis, vagina, anus) or breaks in the skin around the genitals.
Viral STIs
Viruses and bacteria are different microbes, you can’t treat viruses with antibiotics, and they are for life. It is like trying to treat a cold or flu with antibiotics, it doesn’t work. If the doctors has given you antibiotics for a cold or flu, they probably think you are run down and have a secondary bacterial infection on top of the cold. Or are fobbing you off, because you are being unreasonable in demanding them, meaning both of you are guilty of increasing the risk of antibiotic resistance, which is really bad. It will be back to the days of dying from a simple cut.
Genital Herpes
Herpes isn’t just an STI, it encompass a family of viruses, of which every one of us has had at least three. The most common are the Chicken Pox (Herpes Zoster) virus, simplex 1 (HSV1) and 2 (HSV2) and Epstein Barr which causes glandular fever also known as mono. 25% of us have cytomegalovirus and we will all have had human herpes virus 6 and 7 by the time we are two years old. Most of us don’t even know we have them unless they create symptoms such as chicken pox, a coldsore or glandular fever or genital herpes.
When they say genital herpes it means either the HSV1 or the HSV2 viruses. Compared to the other STIs, it's pretty benign. 60 to 90% (depending no the study) have one of the two viruses that can cause genital herpes, with 80% of people not even aware they have them. And for those who are aware, symptoms can be managed with antivirals, and precautions such as abstaining from sex—oral as well as anal and vaginal—during a flare up, and using condoms for the rest of the time, whilst taking antivirals can reduce its spread. A coldsore can spread it to your partner's genitals, so no oral sex with a coldsore.
So with the likelihood you probably have one of the viruses, stigmatising someone for having it is hypocritical. Especially when you consider that while genital herpes is associated with HSV2, and cold sores are associated with HSV1, both can cause genital herpes, with HSV1 actually causing 40% of genital herpes cases. HSV2 can affect the face, but it is much rarer and less likely to spread from the mouth. And HSV1 cold sores can spread it to your partner's genitals through oral sex.
So it just depends on whether the infection was first contracted at the mouth or the genitals, as to whether you get coldsores, or genital herpes. Once an area is infected, the body makes antibodies so that it can't be contracted by another area of the body. The virus enters the body from infected skin, mucous membranes, blood, semen or vaginal fluid, via a break in the skin or mucous membrane, either of the vagina or anus or penis, or mouth. You can therefore spread HSV1 from a coldsore to someone's genitals. The virus then replicates in the skin and usually produces its worst flare up of blisters and sores, or it can be so minor it can be mistaken for an insect bite, or go undetected. Once the virus has replicated it moves up the nerves to a nerve cluster called a ganglion. For genital herpes it's at the base of the spine, for coldsores it's at the base of the skull. It remains dormant there until at some point it activates and moves back along the nerves to create symptoms of blisters and sores or it can be so minor it goes undetected. And uncomfortable symptoms can be treated with antivirals.
The biggest risk from genital herpes is for the newborns of mothers who contract genital herpes in the later stages of pregnancy before they could produce the antibodies to give their baby a natural immunity. When the baby contracts the virus through contact with lesions during a normal vaginal birth, the infection of herpes is usually fatal. And so if it is known a mother has genital herpes the baby will be born through caesarian to protect them. It is the same reason someone with a coldsore should never kiss a newborn. For mothers who already had the virus, or contracted it early in pregnancy, only 1% of newborns are at risk of contracting it due to the mother having antibodies.
Genital warts
The human papilloma virus which caused genital warts, are spread during vaginal or anal sex through skin-to-skin contact. A condom will protect the skin it covers, but not the uncovered skin that holds the virus or visible warts. The warts can appear weeks after contracting the virus, to months later, or they may never appear. So it isn't always clear who passed it on or when, if someone has multiple partners.
The genital warts can be removed with cryotherapy, laser or creams. For most people, the immune system will clear the HPV virus that causes it. But for those in which the virus persists, often without symptoms, it can lead to cervical cancer in women via vaginal sex, and throat cancers in men who contracted it through oral sex. So despite the ability for most people to clear it, you don't know if you will be one of the people who cannot clear it, meaning the vaccine is essential for all sexually active people. And it is essential for women to have five yearly Pap smears to monitor any changes suggesting cervical cancer. There is no regular screening for men as it hasn't been recognised as the main cause of throat cancer like cigarettes etc, but it can still cause it.
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Treatment is antibiotics, but as with every bacterial infection, the more antibiotics are used, the greater the risk of antibiotic resistance worsens, so potentially, one day in the not too distant future, there will be bacteria that are immune to antibiotics, which will lead to untreatable infections and likely death. And I am not just scare mongering, gonorrhoea is heading down the track right now , so don’t be dumb, if you are sexually active sheath it, and if you haven’t been checked out for a while, or might be at risk, get checked out. There is no shame in it, if a doctor acts that way, find a new one. And it you have something, be glad you caught it, and take the full course of antibiotics. Stopping half way through because you feel better and letting the bacteria grow again, so you need a further course, is another way to build that antibiotic resistance. rst two being possibly symptomless or causing sores. And by the third stage, which can be anywhere from 5 to 20 years later, it will effect the brain and heart, being life threatening and causing syphilis dementia.
So if you, or your partner, has genital warts, don't have sex when they are present. But don't freak out, they can be removed, whereas your cancer risk should be discussed with your GP.
HIV
HIV, the virus that causes AIDs exists in the community. People just don’t really associate it with Australian straight people, but it doesn’t mean a straight Australian can’t have it. It can be treated with retrovirals that make it almost undetectable, but if you don’t think a straight person has it, and don’t suspect you might have it, it won’t be until you get problems before you are investigated for it. Or through some routine tests. It is best to use frangas and reduce your risk of unknowingly contracting it.
Bacterial Sexually Transmitted Infections
STD Bacteria includes gonorrhoea, chlamydia, mycoplasma genitalium and syphilis. Yes syphilis, it is not just a disease of the Jack the Ripper era and while it can be treated easily, it has been back on the rise in recent years.
All of them can be aysmptomatic, meaning you don’t even know you have them. Men have the luck of being more likely to have symptoms of pus or burning, and so be treated for it. So if that is you, tell your partner so they can get investigated as well. You don't want to be responsible for their infertility. Because in women, if one of these bacterial infections is symptomless and goes untreated for long enough, it can cause pelvic inflammatory disease can result in infertility. And syphilis is a nasty one, which can cause miscarriage and still birth, it can be passed onto the baby in pregnant women and cause problems at birth and later in life. It also has three stages, with the first two being possibly symptomless or causing sores. By by the third stage, which can be anywhere from 55 to 20 years later it will effect the brain and heart, being life threatening and causing syphilis dementia.
Treatment is antibiotics, but as with every bacterial infection, the more antibiotics are used, the greater the risk of antibiotic resistance worsens, so potentially, one day in the not too distant future, there will be bacteria that are immune to antibiotics, which will lead to untreatable infections and likely death. And I am not just scare mongering, gonorrhoea is heading down the track right now, with antibiotic resistant strains existing, so don’t be dumb. If you are sexually active sheath it, and if you haven’t been checked out for a while, or might be at risk, get checked out. There is no shame in it, if a doctor acts that way, find a new one. And it you have something, be glad you caught it and take the full course of antibiotics. Stopping half way through because you feel better and letting the bacteria grow again, so you need a further course, is another way to build that antibiotic resistance.
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